
subject	사랑의 천평칭

인간관계에서， 사회관계에서， 스승과 제자의 관계에서， 남편과 아내의 관계에서， 어버이와 자식의 관계에서， 연인과 연인의 사이에서 사랑이 자취를 감추고 관습과 계산이 대신 들어선 것은 언제부터였을까?
　인간이 인간을 사랑할 수 없게 되었다는 것은 神을 상실했음을 뜻한다는 말을 우리는 곧잘 하게 된다. 과연 인간이 사랑을 한다는 것은 인간의 환상이며 인간의 허영이며 인간의 자기기만일까?
사랑했으므로 행복하였네라Ⅰ
사랑의 천평칭
　사람들이 일상생활에서 가장 많이 사용하는 말이 사랑이라는 단어다. 사랑의 의미는 60억 인구 만큼이나 다양할 것이다.
　사람에 따라서 사랑이라는 말 자체에 대한 이해도 가지가지라고 본다.
　어렸을 때 부모에게서 받는 조건 없는 사랑， 사춘기에 어렴풋이 느끼는 풋사랑， 결혼 적령기에 접어든 청년기의 불꽃 튀는 성숙기 사랑.
　어느 것 하나 소중하지 않은 것 없고 어느 것 하나 숭고하지 않은 사랑이 없으련만 부모에게서 받는 일방의 사랑은 당연한 것이라는 생각에 미쳐 사랑인줄 모르면서 그 시기를 지난다.
　사춘기 풋풋한 사랑은 온통 분홍꽃밭을 배경으로 그리는 사랑이지만 분홍 꽃을 피울 수 있는 계절은 짧기만 하다.
　성하의 계절 마냥 이글이글 타올라 자신은 물론이며 상대방까지도 소멸시킬 수 있을 만큼의 강렬한 사랑은 일생을 결정짓는 전환점의 시기이다.
　그리고 한없는 사랑을 상대에게 요구하게 되지만 자신이 줄 수 있는 사랑의 무게에는 인색하다.
　그래서인지 일찍이 독일의 실존철학자 '에리히 프롬'은 그의 저서 '사랑의 기술'에서 '사랑은 스스로 도달한 성숙도(成熟度)와는 관계없이 누구나 쉽게 탐닉할 수 있는 감상이 아니다'라고 주장하지 않았는가.
　그러나 사람이 사람을 사랑하지 못하는 것은 이기적인 행동이며 그런 사람은 자기 자신까지도 사랑을 하지 않는다는 사실이다.
　그러나 그런 의식을 가졌던 사람도 어느 시기가 시작되면 상대의 약점은 보이지 않고 좋은 점만이 마음에 자리 잡게 된다.
흔히 '사랑을 하면 눈이 먼다'는 말도 그것에서 유래되었다고 본다.
　그러나 그 시점이 지나고 나면 상대의 장점보다 단점이 보이기 시작하고 급기야 내가 상대에게 쏟아 부은 사랑에 손익계산을 펼쳐보게 된다.
　그 결과는 이별의 순서로 남녀의 사랑은 귀결되어지고 만다.
　인간관계에서， 사회관계에서， 스승과 제자의 관계에서， 남편과 아내의 관계에서， 어버이와 자식의 관계에서， 연인과 연인의 사이에서 사랑이 자취를 감추고 관습과 계산이 대신 들어선 것은 언제부터였을까?
　인간이 인간을 사랑할 수 없게 되었다는 것은 神을 상실했음을 뜻한다는 말을 우리는 곧잘 하게 된다. 과연 인간이 사랑을 한다는 것은 인간의 환상이며 인간의 허영이며 인간의 자기기만일까?
　그렇다면 티없이 맑고 희생적이고 순고한 모성애는 어떻게 설명해야 할까?
　그래서 사랑은 중노동인 것이다.
　형체도 빛깔도 헤아릴 수 없는 사랑의 무게로 수시로 그 계산에 변동이 오게 된다.
　사랑은 주는 것이라는 타당성 없는 논리를 앞세우는 사람일수록 받는 사랑에 길들여져 있다.
　그래서 사랑을 표방한 모순된 논리에 엄청난 비극으로 귀결되는 종말.
　사랑은 쌍방의 감정의 무게가 평행할 때만이 참 사랑의 의미를 느끼게 되어 행복해지는 것이다.
　사랑은 베푸는 것이다. 혹은 손익계산을 따지지 않아야 한다는 생각을 했다면 그것은 비극의 출발점이며 환상의 세계에서 아직도 사랑의 실체를 파악하지 못한 무지의 소치가 아닐까?
　아름다운 사랑일수록 평행을 이루는 진실이 있어야 한다.
　사랑에는 고유의 아름다움이 있고 그 특유의 향기가 있듯이 그 사랑이 오래도록 지속되려면 아낌없이 서로가 서로를 사랑해야 한다는 것을 '사랑의 기본'으로 알아야 할 것이다.
　그럴 때만이 서로가 서로를 사랑할 수 있는 '사랑의 자격증'을 취득하게 된다.
　사랑은 주는 것도 아닌， 받는 것은 더 더욱 아닌 둘이서 키워나가는 것이다.

사진·글 이종기(시조시인)

12호 (2005.8.23)

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