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애매모호의 전술

예나 지금이나 흔하게 쓰이는 말이지만 요즈음같이 <글쎄요>라는 말이 다양한 의미로 쓰이는 경우는 그리 흔하지 않은 것 같다.
  
쥐꼬리만한 가능성만 있어도 금세 이루어 질 것처럼 허풍을 치는 세상이기에 이제는 <글쎄요?> 라는 대답이 상대방의 입에서 나오면 원래의 낱말의 의미를 떠나 긍정보다는 부정 쪽으로 기울어지는 예감이 짙게 풍긴다. 다시 말하면 상대방에게 딱 불어지게 거절하기 곤란한 경우나, 부탁 받은 일에 영 자신이 없을 경우 부정의 암시로 이 말을 편리하게 사용하고 있는 것은 아닐까....
  
대개의 경우 <글쎄요> 라는 말은 비록 부정이나 거절의 의미로 사용했다고 하더라는 말에 따르는 책임을 지지 않을 수 있어서 좋다. 설사 이 말이 거절의 의미로 쓰이어졌다 해도 상황 변화로 인한 다음의 가능성을 시사해 줄 수도 있기 때문이다. 그래서 현대인은 사업관계나 기타 모든 거래관계에 있어서 이 말을 유효적절하게 자의적 편법으로 사용하고 있는 것이다. 때로는 충분히 가능성이 있는 경우도 <글쎄요> 라는 말을 던져주어 무언가 상대방에게 눈치로 판단할 수 있는 여유를 줌으로써 자신이 노리는 소기의 성과를 유보해 두기도 하는 것이다.
  
이럴 경우 <글쎄요?> 라는 말은 십분 상대방에게 미끼를 던져 주는 구실을 하게 된다. 때로는 자신이 받아들이기 곤란한 경우 상대방에게 거절하는 인상을 짙게 풍겨 쉽게 포기하도록 만드는 구실도 한다. 이렇듯 요즘 사람들은 오리무중과 같은 아리송한 말을 약삭빠른 센스의 대명사로 대치하고 있는 것이다.
  
그래서 어디까지가 진실이고 어디까지가 허위인가의 진부를 캐내려면 말 자체의 의미보다는 그때 놓여진 정황과 말하는 사람의 표정, 그리고 억양의 변화와 표현 따위를 종합해서 판단할 필요가 있는 것이다.
  
말이 나온 김에 이 <글쎄요>라는 말 한마디 때문에 잘 진행되어 가던 일을 그만 파국으로 빠뜨려버린 예화(例話) 한 토막을 소개해야겠다.
  
꽤 오래전의 일이다. 일본여행 중에 그 곳 외교관으로부터 들은 이야기가 새삼스럽게 되살아난다. 내용인즉 C라는 한 동포 재력가가 혼기에 이른 자기 딸을 시집보내려고 각방으로 수소문하게 되었단다. 2세인 딸은 일본말과 풍습 등은 잘 익혀 그야말로 요조숙녀였지만 부모세대의 민족감정 때문에 애써 모국에 있는 청년을 사위로 삼으려고 각방으로 애를 썼다. 하지만 한국 사정이 어두운 그는 평소 한국에 지면이 넓은 한 인사를 통해 장래가 촉망되는 명문대학출신을 소개받게 되었다. 사법고시에 합격한 그 청년과 맞선까지 보고 혼담도 급속도로 진전되어 택일만을 남긴 상태였다. 그런데 때마침 같은 처지에 있던 J라는 재일동포 한사람이 이 소식을 듣고 자기의 딸도 그런 전도유망한 청년에게 시집을 보내야겠다는 욕망이 발동하여 다각도로 물색해 봐도 좀처럼 그런 ! 훌륭한 혼처는 나타나지 않았다.
  
그래서 끝내는 남의 신랑감을 탐내게 되어 전자의 중매인에게 손을 뻗쳐 거금의 사례비를 듬뿍 준 후, 그 청년을 빼앗아 자기의 사위로 삼게 해달라고 간청을 했던 것이다. 말하자면 혼인을 둘러싼 어른들의 삼각관계가 벌어졌던 것이다.
  
그 어떤 일에나 중간에서 농간 부리는 자가 생기면 일의 성사는 매우 어려워지는 법, 더군다나 결혼과 같은 까다로운 인륜대사에 있어서야 더 말해 무엇 하겠는가.
  
뜻밖의 많은 사례금을 받은 이 중매인은 신랑이 될 청년의 부모에게 드디어 제1단계 공작을 펴게 되었다.
  
그 청년부모와 혼인에 관한 이런 저런 이야기를 하던 중 다시 한번 그 부모들의 염려 섞인 말이 터져 나왔다. <그래 일본만 하더라도 우리나라 보다 더 자유분방한 곳인데 그 규수의 정숙은 보장할 수 있겠지요?> 라고 하자 마치 때를 기다렸다는 듯이 이 중매인은 <글쎄요?>라는 말만을 뱉은 채 까다로운 여운을 남기고 말았던 것이다.
  
혼담이 무르익어가는 처지에서 기왕 자기가 중매한 상대를 적극 비난할 수도 없는 일, 이럴 때 <글쎄요?> 라는 말 한마디는 자신의 의젓한 체면까지 지켜가면서 상대방의 부정을 은연중에 고발하는 격이 되어 버렸던 것이다.
  
이 의도적인 <글쎄요> 라는 한마디 때문에 신랑집안의 부모는 물론 신랑인 본인의 비위까지 거슬리게 되어 끝내 그 혼인은 성사일보직전에서 파탄되고 말았던 것이다. 더군다나 외지에 있는 여성으로서 가장 중요한 순결문제까지 보장받지 못한대서야 그 누가 선뜻 혼인에 응하겠는가? 이럴 경우 <글쎄요> 라는 그 부작위적(不作爲的)인 말 한마디는 백 마디의 중상모략보다도 더 지능적인 역작용(逆作用)으로 악용되었던 것이다.
  
원래 혼인을 중매하는 마당에서는 서로의 집안을 과대선전하기 마련이고, 당사자들도 과장인줄 뻔히 알면서도 기분 좋은 것이 보통인데 여기에 상대방의 결점을 암시한다는 것은 아주 치명적일 수밖에 없다.
  
<어>가 다르고 <아>가 다르다는 말이 있듯이 같은 말이라도 이렇듯 뜻이 정반대로 나타나는 경우를 생각하면 흔히 쓰는 말이라 하여 함부로 내뱉기가 얼마나 겁나는 일인가.
  “그러면 당신은 어떤 경우에 ‘글쎄요’ 라는 말을 즐겨 쓰느냐?”고 묻는다면 <글쎄요...> 나도 이말 밖에는 더 대답할 말이 없을 것 같다.

김병권
한국문인협회 부이사장

61호
2009.7.23

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