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    홈 / 시사 / 칼럼

subject 후회를 배우자

일이란 것이 모두 이루어질 수 없기에 후회 없는 삶을 살 수는 없다. 그러나 후회에서 배워 다시 후회를 반복하지 않는 것이 배움이고 후손을 위한 교육이다.

사람은 누구나 후회 없는 삶을 바라지만 뜻한다고 다 이루어지는 것이 아닌 게 인생이라  일희일비(一喜一悲)를 곱씹으며 살아가는 것이다. 그래서 옛말에는 젊은이들로 하여금 후회 없는 미래를 살아가도록 계율(戒律)하는 명구들이 많다.

어떤 일의 초기단계에서 오는 단순한 실패와 후회는 그 자체가 교훈이 되어 보다 큰 불행을 예방할 수도 있다.  하지만 영영 돌이킬 수 없는 후회를 저질러 인생을 파국의 구렁텅이로 밀어 넣는 것을 볼 때면 참으로 안타까울 수 밖에 없다.  아무리 일세를 풍미하던 권문세도가라도 이름 없는 시골 나무꾼 신세를 부러워할 경우도 얼마든지 있기 때문이다.

진나라의 재상 이사(李斯)는 천하의 대권을 잡아 영화의 극치를 누렸지만, 정적에게 잡혀 형장의 이슬로 사라질 때 자식들에게 다음과 같은 말을 남겼다.

“내 일찍이 시골에 묻혀 누렁이(黃狗)와 사냥이나 하고 살았더라면 오늘 이런 참변은 면했을 것이다.  결국 내 욕심이 나를 망쳤구나... 너만은 절대로 이 아비의 전철을 밟지 말아다오.”

이사의 황구지탄(黃狗之嘆)은 오늘날 까지도 후회의 대명사로 남아 세간에 회자(膾炙)되고 있다.  요즈음 우리 주변에도 이런 황구지탄을 읊조리며 “내 욕심이 나를 망쳤구나”하고 후회의 눈물을 뿌리는 사람들이 얼마나 많은가?

여기서 우리는 단순히 성패에 따른 후회와는 또 다른 삶의 문제를 곱씹게 된다. 즉 “자신의 이득만을 탐내는 자는 반드시 화를 입게 된다”는 것을 깨닫게 되는 것이다.

톨스토이의 명작 ‘부활’은 자신의 순간적인 실수로 파멸한 여인에게 보상하려고 안간힘을 쓰는 ‘네오돌프’의 후회를 그리고 있다.  진정한 후회란 뉘우침을 뜻하며 진정한 뉘우침은 자신이 저지른 허물을 통해 착한 마음을 되살리는 개과천선(改過遷善)을 말하는 것이니, 이 톨스토이의 ‘부활’은 곧 후회의 미학(美學)이다.

우리는 모든 일에서 단순한 후회로만 그칠 것이 아니라, 그것을 미래지향적인 의지로 바꾸도록 노력해야 한다.  그래야만 진정으로 후회 없는 인생을 영위할 수 있기 때문이다.

우리가 교양을 쌓고 인격을 기르는 것도 따지고 보면 후회 없는 삶을 위한 예방책이라 해도 좋을 것이다.  프랑스 작가 스탕달은 ‘세상에서 가장 훌륭한 교육은 후회를 가르치는 것’이라 했다.

후회를 배워 다시는 후회를 남기지 않는 삶을 사는 것, 이것은 역사를 배우는 까닭이며 우리의 2세들에게 남길 교훈이다.

우리는 그 동안 너무 맹목적으로 달려 왔다.  돈만 있으면 무조건 잘 사는 것으로 생각했고, 남을 밀치고라도 윗자리에만 올라가면 무조건 출세영달이라고 믿어왔다.  그러나 세월의 이끼 속에 묻혔던 진리가 숨을 쉬는 날 그간의 모든 바벨탑의 영광은 한 낱 허황된 꿈으로 전락하고 후회와 탄식만을 몰고 오지 않았던가.

물질위주의 사회발전은 끝내 환경오염을 심화시켜 인류의 생활터전마저 위협하고 있다. 또 무분별한 출세주의는 그 인간을 오히려 파멸의 낭떠러지로 추락시키고 있다. 이러한 오늘의 현실을 직시하고 있는 우리는 이제라도 다시는 되풀이하지 않을 참 후회를 배워 새로운 가치관을 세워야 할 것이다.

그리하여 오늘의 젊은이들이 주인공이 되는 그 날에는 다시금 똑 같은 후회를 되풀이하지 않도록 미리미리 마음을 다잡아나가야 하겠다.

김병권
국제펜클럽 고문
28호 (2006.9.20)


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