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subject 고난 극복은 불퇴전(不退轉)의 신념으로

세상에는 보이는 대로라는 것이 없다. 세상은 보는 사람의 수만큼 많게 마련이고 내가 그 세상을 어떻게 보는가에 따라 세상은 달라진다.

  우리 속담에 '사람의 몸뚱이가 천 냥이라면 눈은 9백 냥'이라는 말이 있다. 우리 몸에서 가장 귀중한 부분이 눈이라는 말이다.
  눈은 명암(明暗)과 미추(美醜)를 분간해주고 원근(遠近)의 거리를 가늠해 준다. 그러기 때문에 우리 생활에서 눈의 역할이 가장 중요하다는 말에 이의를 달 사람은 아무도 없을 것이다.
  그런데 다시 한 번 곰곰이 생각해 보면 우리는 밖으로 나타나는 것만을 가지고 그 가치를 판단할 수 없다는 것을 깨닫게 될 것이다. 시력을 잃으면 모든 것을 잃는 것처럼 여기는 사람도 있지만 사실 성한 눈을 가진 사람보다 몇 배나 더 삶의 의욕을 불태우며 훌륭한 일을 하는 시각장애자(視覺障碍者)도 있기 때문이다. 헬렌 컬러여사를 보자. 시각 청각 언어 장애까지 겹친 삼중고(三重苦)의 불운아였지만 절망의 늪을 헤치고 일어선 그녀는 오히려 성한 사람보다 더 인류를 위해 봉사하지 않았던가.
  몇 해 전이다. 나는 프랑스 파리로 가는 비행기 안에서 뜻밖의 진귀한 승객을 만난 일이 있다. 그들이 진귀하다는 것은 '장님과 귀머거리'로 구성된 2인조 관광단이었기 때문이다. 얼핏 생각하면 시각장애자가 관광을 한다는 것은 도저히 납득되지 않는다. 청각장애자는 그런대로 성한 눈을 가졌기 때문에 바깥 풍경을 감상할 수 있다 하더라도 시각장애자의 경우는 영 무의미할 것 같았기 때문이다.
  그러나 비행기가 이륙하자마자 나의 상상은 완전히 빗나가고 말았다. 도쿄에서 파리까지는 무려 18시간이나 걸렸는데, 그 긴긴 여행길에서 그들은 조금도 지칠 줄 모르고 무엇인가 골똘히 탐구하는 자세를 보였기 때문이다. 그들은 식사가 끝난 후 주방에 들러 음식물 저장고를 살피기도 하고, 음식 찌꺼기와 쓰레기 처리문제에 대해서도 수없이 질문하면서 하나하나 궁금증을 풀어나가는 것이었다. 시각장애자는 촉각과 감각으로 느끼는 소감을 열심히 수화(手話)로 전하고, 청각장애자는 또 자기가 보고 느낀 점과 친구의 수화를 합쳐 열심히 노트에 기록하는 것이었다.
  나중에 들은 이야기는 더욱 감동적이었다. 그들은 둘 다 일본인이었으며 영어실력도 수준급이었다. 이미 미국여행을 마치고 유럽여행길에 오른 그들은 이번 여행을 마치면 '맹인의 세계일주 기행문'을 책으로 출판할 계획이라는 것이었다. 놀라운 일이었다. 눈과 귀가 성한 우리의 여행이 수박 겉 핥기 식이라면 저들의 기행은 우리가 그냥 스치고 지나쳐버린 곳까지 세밀히 살피고 파악하는 진짜 관광이라는 생각이 들었다. 그러고 보니, 성한 눈을 가진 자신이 오히려 부끄럽게 여겨지기까지 했다.  
  만약 저들이 비행기 안에서 한 것처럼 세계 곳곳을 누비며 살피고 느낀 것을 예리한 필치로 기록해 놓는다면 과연 어떤 내용이 될까... 나의 호기심은 계속 꼬리를 물고 이어졌다. 모든 문화유적지 깊숙이 스며있는 옛 선인들의 숨결까지 파헤쳐 내지 않을까 하는 생각이 들어서였다. 아마도 그들의 깊은 통찰력은 우리 같은 보통사람의 상상력을 뛰어넘어 아득한 과거와 먼 미래까지도 한꺼번에 꿰뚫어볼 것만 같았다.
  육안으로 볼 수 없는 것을 꿰뚫어보는 통찰력. 이것은 바로 마음의 눈이 있기 때문이다. 마음의 눈은 생각함으로써 맑아진다. 항상 선하고 아름다운 생각만 하고 있으면 그 마음의 눈에는 바로 선하고 아름다운 것만 비춰질 것이요, 또한 아무리 불행을 안고 사는 사람이라도 늘 감사하는 마음으로 살아가면 행복으로 바뀔 수도 있기 때문이다.
세익스피어는 "세상에는 행복과 불행이 따로 있는 것이 아니다. 다만 사람들 마음속에 '나는 행복하다. 나는 불행하다'는 생각을 고정시켜놓고 있기 때문이다." 라고 말했다. 의미심장(意味深長)한 말이다. 만일 헬렌 컬러가 우리의 통념대로 스스로를 불행하다고 치부하며 좌절했더라면 어떻게 저런 위대한 헌신과 봉사를 할 수 있었으며 시각장애와 청각장애인 2인조 관광단이 세계일주 여행을 꿈이나 꿀 수 있었겠는가.  
  따라서 우리는 고난 그 자체가 불행한 것이 아니라, 그 고난을 극복할 의지와 용기를 잃어버리는 것이 더 불행하다는 것을 알 수 있다. 또한 그 어떤 고난과 역경에 처하더라도 끝내 좌절하지 않는 슬기를 배워야 할 것이다. 슬기는 고난을 통해 터득되며 사유를 통해 성장하는 영적인 지혜다.
  내 친구의 아들 C군은 대학 재학 중 군에 입대했는데 거기서 백내장치료를 받다가 실명이 되고 말았다. 유명하다는 병원을 다 찾아 다니며 노력해 보았지만 모두 무위로 끝나자 치료를 단념하고 미국으로 유학을 갔다. 원래 신심이 두터운 크리스천 집안에서 자란 그는 그곳에서 박사과정까지 이수하고 돌아와 지금은 국내 J 대학에서 교수 생활을 하고 있다. 비록 육신의 시력은 잃었지만 그에게는 영의 눈이 밝혀져 지금은 소망과 기쁨이 충만한 가운데 행복한 삶을 살아가고 있다. 특히 심성 고운 아내를 맞아 예쁜 아들까지 보게 되었으니 그 다복함을 무엇으로 다 표현하겠는가. 좌절을 딛고 일어선 슬기로운 삶의 본보기라 하지 않을 수 없다.  
  사람이 살다 보면 어떤 불행한 일이 있을지 모른다. 그 때마다 생각의 차원을 높여 발상을 전환하게 되면, 그 불행과 역경은 극복할 수 있다. 한창 젊은 시절의 저 C군이 좌절의 늪에 빠져 삶을 포기했더라면 오늘날의 교수직은 물론 그 오묘한 축복을 어디에서 찾을 수 있겠는가.
  세상에는 고난 없는 인생이란 존재하지 않는다. 역사상 위대한 업적을 남긴 인물일수록 이루 헤아릴 수 없는 모진 고난을, 신념과 용기로 극복해 나온 인간승리의 증인인 것이다. 물론 예견되는 고난이나 장애는 슬기롭게 예방하는 것이 중요하다. 그러나 일단 그 고난과 장애가 현실로 다가온 이상, 우리는 이를 극복하기 위한 확고한 신념을 가져야 한다. 불퇴전(不退轉)의 신념으로 맞서 이겨 나가야 하는 것이다.  

김병권
한국문인협회 부이사장

No.42
2007.12.15

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